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Nadirah | 20 | USA

Engineering Major, pansexual, cat enthusiast, professional potato

timtampon:

I was talking to my friend on the phone and then she almost got run over and i was obviously really concerned so i asked her if she was okay and after a moment she replied “there is a Jesus in the sky” in a really matter-of-fact sort of way
so obviously I thought something was seriously wrong butimage

dutchster:

Applying for jobs like

Dear Sir/Madam, 
Thank you for rejecting my job application to your company.
I have read your application with interest. Because I have received a large number of refusals, I had to make a selection of candidates and I regret to tell you that you are not part of this group.
Despite your qualities and experience in rejecting job applicants, I must inform you your refusal does not meet my profile for this position.
For this reason, I am notifying you I will start working for your company effective immediately. I am looking forward to a prosperous collaboration.
I wish you all the best in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely, Mark Dutchster

dutchster:

Applying for jobs like

Dear Sir/Madam, 

Thank you for rejecting my job application to your company.

I have read your application with interest. Because I have received a large number of refusals, I had to make a selection of candidates and I regret to tell you that you are not part of this group.

Despite your qualities and experience in rejecting job applicants, I must inform you your refusal does not meet my profile for this position.

For this reason, I am notifying you I will start working for your company effective immediately. I am looking forward to a prosperous collaboration.

I wish you all the best in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely, 
Mark Dutchster

clientsfromhell:

I animated and edited a short video for my clients and it was time to review the rough draft. I put music underneath as a temporary track. The five of my clients and I were all in a room together to watch it.

Client: We don’t like the music at all.

Me: What don’t you like about it?

Client: It needs more “pep” and needs to be more “upbeat.” This is just not doing it.

snaggypax:

everets:

just replace all police with police dogs

nobody would be mean or rude the police imagine a dog with a lil’ backpack giving you a ticket. you can’t get mad at the dog. the dog is just doing his lil’ dog job and wagging his tail and you KNOW he loves you still.

blastortoise:

it’s weird how straight boys will find out that a girl is bisexual and then think that girl wants to fuck them with another girl. And if they find out a guy is gay they think that guy wants to fuck them.

No one wants to have sex with you. You are are not cute. At all.

pemsylvania:

proton, neutron, electron and crouton 

rotatingfloor:

actualluigi:

ok but can we just appreciate how detailed mario’s shoe is

its bread

rotatingfloor:

actualluigi:

ok but can we just appreciate how detailed mario’s shoe is

its bread

fuckyeahitspcola:

MY ANACONDA DON’T!

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MY ANACONDA DON’T!

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MY ANACONDA DON’T WANT NUN UNLESS YOU GOT BUNS HUN!

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weloveshortvideos:

Man who had sex with lana del rey

Vine by demi, king of trash mountain

1 day ago45,062 plays